Not gonna lie…starting to write again post-IVF realization plus the holidays right after has been hard. The last month just feels like a blur of going through the motions and checking off the boxes surrounding the holidays while still processing the Korean BBQ that is our reproductive adventure. I’m not really ready, just yet, to let much creep out of the little bubble I’m creating for Scott, Stout, and me now that we’re back to just the three of us out here on the West Coast. Plus, you’re pretty caught up so I need to live some more life to post about it! Soooo…let’s talk about someone who decided to be a jerk on the internet!
Social media…keeping people connected, whether you want to be connected or not. Like most people, I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I am active on Facebook and Instagram and am comfortable with the friends/family/acquintances I’ve curated in those worlds. Maybe it’s a sign of approaching my beyond late 30s, but I like seeing pics of people’s kids/families/vacations and reading what the people in my social media world are up to here and there. I like the human side…I don’t care about Instagram fashionistas or makeup tutorial videos, I like just feeling like I’m still connected to people I might not have seen in years, but they still have a special little spot in my heart. I have Snapchat solely for my niece who loves filters.
Sometimes truer colors than I want to see come through on social media (especially politically) and I unfollow people, not unfriend unless they are truly just horrible, because I think we can honestly all admit to ourselves at this point that NO meme/article/post/video is going to change the mind of someone with their feet firmly planted in an opinion opposite of your own. It just seems like a useless exercise to me at this point and I have personally decided to no longer engage in it on social media. My feeds are pretty much family-friendly content from my friends and family and that’s how I like my social media world to be. There are plenty of news channels/apps/sites to go to for reading all the super dark stuff about the world. That being said, sometimes the darkness creeps in out of the blue and smacks you in the face.
I’ve debated writing about this and I’m going to try to keep the details vague on purpose as to not lay dots out for people to connect. While sitting in the Atlanta airport during our layover on 12/21 while Scott was in the bathroom or something, I got a Facebook message from an acquintance I’ve “known” for decades. The message started out simple enough…”Merry Christmas!” Honestly, I thought it was going to be a sales pitch for something, but I clicked and started reading. Basically, it was a message saying that our choice to pursue IVF was immoral and against God’s plan. (But, also…yay! People are reading this blog!…???) It included some Bible quotes conveniently pulled out to support the argument that Scott and I were going to hell for not being able to procreate “naturally” and turning to the evil world of science. (Don’t get me started on evolution!) I mean…we were already in the Atlanta airport for a 3-hour layover where we ate SPICY Popeyes, because THAT was a good decision, four days before Christmas so that whole “going to hell” thing wasn’t too far off. The message then weirdly gave me the birds-and-the-bees talk about how babies are created “naturally”…like, Scott and I didn’t realize that’s what we were supposed to do or something and we skipped over it in favor of scientific baby making and lots of needles. (The word “naturally” is also quickly approaching annoying to me. It’s still freaking natural. It’s not some lab-created sperm pairing up with a lab-created egg. It’s my egg. Scott’s sperm. With a little assistance for meeting up in the middle…it’s like online dating! Get your kayaks ready!)
I think this is when I knew something in me has shifted right now. Normally, I would have pounced on Scott the minute he returned from the bathroom, had him read this message over and over again with me, talk incessantly about what a horrible person this person was, and consider crafting a sharply worded response. (I’m human.) Instead, I closed the message, deleted it, immediately went to that person’s profile to block it, and put it out of my mind. (Or, I’m a Pod Person. Google: Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Or, there’s that Nicole Kidman movie “The Invasion”.) My New Year’s resolution is Compartmentalizing. Like, not in a bad way, but in a way that keeps my brain more…sane. I’m going to try a one-day-at-a-time approach instead of worrying about EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN ALL THE TIME. At that moment in the Atlanta airport on our way to see our families for Christmas, I just didn’t need this person’s religious negativity aimed at my ovaries in my life. I didn’t bring it back up until Christmas Eve when I randomly mentioned it to Scott in a convo we where having with others at some point. Maybe that’s mentally healthy…maybe it’s not. Who knows?
Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. Everyone is allowed to believe in whatever God, god, anti-god, Buddha, crystal, moonbeam, unicorn, or Minotaur they’d like…weeeeell, except Scientology…come on, guys. Oh, and the Manson Family… But like, when religion is used as a weapon, it’s just ugggggghhh. This little episode hasn’t done much for my personal belief in organized religion, but also…if I follow this person’s Bible-thumping stance, then God created man…and man learned how to create fire…and then, man created IVF…all sanctioned by God because he made man smart enough to learn how to make fire and more men. So therefore, Scott and I will not spend eternity in a hot, crowded airport with Popeyes churning in our stomachs.